


What’s an ‘Earth’?

by RaeTheStar



Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [35]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Gen, Oneshot, also irl Joe!, everyones there but I can’t be bothered to tag them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 05:15:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20961083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeTheStar/pseuds/RaeTheStar
Summary: Joe has, rather stereotypically, found himself in Minecraft. Luckily, he has great friends to help him out.





	What’s an ‘Earth’?

"Alright, you ready?" Joe adjusted his mic in front of his mouth.

"I've been recording for the last ten minutes." Cleo's smug voice came through his earbuds.

"What? That's against the law, I didn't know you were recording me!"

"Ha! Do you want to do the intro?"

"Sure." Joe took a deep breath, getting ready to start the episode, when Corinne's head poked in the door. "Oh hi Corinne! Would you like to say hi to Cleo?"

"Yeah!" She ran over to the computer, tripping and spilling Joe's waterbottle across the desk.

Joe reacted quickly, snatching up the waterbottle before too much spilled out. "Oh my! Will you grab me some paper towels from the kitchen, love?"

"Everything alright over there?" Cleo asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just a small spill. Oh, gimme a sec, I don't want it to reach the computer." Joe went to move the computer, but the water reached it at the same time, sending a small jolt up his fingers. "Ack! Oh, thank you Corinne." He mopped up the water quickly, averting disaster. "Alright, I think I cleaned it up before anything got ruined."

"Perfect! You ready?"

"Hooo, dizzy spell, one sec." Joe leaned back in his chair, shutting his eyes. It felt like his brain was spinning, and he felt a headache coming on. "Okay, I think I'm good. Let's make this a short episode." He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"Gosh, longest intro ever." Cleo teased.

"Alright, alright, here we go." Joe took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and- "Huh?"

"Oh what is it now?" Cleo rolled her eyes, plopping down in the grass.

"But you're- and I'm-" Joe patted himself, certain it wasn't a dream. "This is Minecraft!"

"Well yeah, where else would we be?" Cleo picked a flower from the grass, twining it into her flower crown.

"Earth! Earth is where we should be!" Joe cried, jumping to his feet.

"What's an earth? Is it part of the new update? I didn't know that!"

"No no no, hold on. Why do you not remember? I was speaking with Corinne, when she spilled my water, and then we were attempting to record a new episode!"

"Episode? Who's Corinne?"

Joe froze. "Corinne. My daughter."

"What!? Who's the mother, how did I not know this!?" Cleo leapt to her feet, holding Joe's shoulders, but he was lost in his mind.

"Nonono, this cannot be- I must adjourn, I need to go home, Corinne-" Joe pried himself from Cleo's grasp and scrambled down the grassy hill.

"Joe, come back! You need to lie down!" Cleo sprinted after him, tackling him in a restraining bear hug. "I'm taking you straight to Stress, she's really good at healing."

"No, I need to go home! Let me go!" Joe squirmed and kicked, but Cleo held him fast, guiding him to the nether portal.

They entered the nether, and Joe froze, staring in awe at the hub. "It's so much bigger from this angle..."

"It's always been this size, at least since it's been finished. Cmon." They stepped into Stress' portal, shivering as the cold air hit them. "Stress! We need your help!"

There was a clattering from somewhere in the castle, and Stress soared out one of the windows. "Hullo! Who's there?"

"It's me and Joe, he's not feeling well!" Cleo ran to meet her as she landed gracefully on the ice.

"Oh no! What's wrong, Joe?"

"I'm in the wrong dimension, that's the issue!" He exclaimed, startling Stress.

"Huh? How did that happen?"

"I'm unsure, but I need to return quickly! My family needs me!"

"Family? Oh my, this is serious... Let's call X." Stress texted Xisuma quickly, who informed them that he would meet them in front of iTrade.

Ten minutes later, a small crowd had gathered in the shopping district, asking questions and comforting Joe as he hyperventilated.

"Out the way, pardon!" X made his way through the crowd, eyes softening as he spotted Joe curled up on the ground, Mumbo rubbing his back. "Joe? How are you feeling?"

"Better I suppose. This is actually really cool and scientifically impossible, but I need to make sure I can get home."

"And you said your home is called Earth, right?"

"Yes. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, in the United States of America."

"They have complicated names on earth..." Iskall muttered to Ren.

"I don't think it's real, I think Joe's finally lost it." Ren whispered back.

X threw them a withering glare, and turned back to Joe. "And what happened before you arrived here?"

"Me and Cleo were about to record an episode when my daughter spilled water on my computer. Then, I became faint, and I woke up here."

A clamor rose from the crowd as they asked questions about everything, but X waved them quiet. "Shall we go somewhere private?"

"No, it's nice having everyone here."

"Alright, I think that's all I need. I'll text you if I have more questions, but it may take me some time to get a solution worked out."

"I'll keep an eye on him." Mumbo offered quietly.

Xisuma nodded gratefully and flew off. Instantly, the hermits scrambled to ask Joe all about his other life and earth.

"Quieter! Raise your hand and we'll answer questions one at a time! If that's okay with you, Joe." Mumbo smiled bashfully.

"I'd love to answer some questions since I have time!"

It looked like a primary school classroom, with hermits waving their arms, desperate to be called on.

"Let's start with Cleo!"

"You have a daughter??" Resounding murmurs rippled the crowd as they leaned in, curious.

"Yes! I have a wonderful wife and daughter, whom I love very much." Joe smiled just thinking about them. Stress and Iskall 'aww'ed.

"What do you mean by recording episodes?" Zed piped up from the back.

"Well, Minecraft is a video game. We all play on a server called Hermitcraft together, so me and Cleo were going to record a segment for a video together."

"Wait, so we exist on earth too?" Ren exclaimed.

"Absolutely! Although, most of you look very different there."

"Really?"

"I wanna see!"

"Can I meet myself?"

"I bet I'm super hot!"

"What do I look like?"

Joe laughed as the hermits discussed how they imagined themselves. Many of their descriptions included extra eyes and rainbow skin before Joe decided to step in. "People look normal on Earth, y'all! I happen to look very similar to how I look here. Mumbo on the other hand," Joe couldn't help but chuckle. "Mumbo looks very different."

Mumbo looked very confused as everyone laughed. "Different good or different bad?"

"Just different! You're still very tall, but more sturdy. You're also blond, and have no mustache, so that's very different." Joe's grin widened as he saw everyone looking on in awe. "You also have a girlfriend." He added with a wink.

The hermits erupted with laughter and chatter, Ren wiggling his eyebrows at Mumbo, who sat embarrassed.

"What abou' me?" Stress looked on with sparkling eyes.

"You look very similar, but you wear cute glasses!"

"Aw, can you imagine me wif cute glasses?" Stress giggled.

"Me, do me!" Tango called, but a buzz from his phone distracted Joe.

"Ah, X says to meet him at his base!" Joe hopped to his feet excitedly. He pulled out a rocket, ready to fly, and then hesitated. "It's a lot scarier when it's not a video game..."

"Don't worry, follow my lead!" Grian patted Joe on the back, and then showed him how to take off safely.

Soon, a flock of hermits was in the sky, headed by a shaky Joe. "This feels incredible, except that I'm terrified!" He shouted over the wind with a wide grin.

"I know, right?" Grian whooped as he shot into the clouds, diving straight back down and only just pulling up before he hit the sea. Doc followed after him, trident in hand and a grin on his face.

"Let's start pulling down slowly, so it's easier to land," Mumbo suggested. The pair began gliding down slowly into X's base, followed by everyone else.

"You made it!" X greeted, beaming ear to ear. "I've figured it out! I'm not sure that I can explain it, but I've figured it out!"

"Incredible! What do I need to do?"

"Just stand over there, and hold still."

As Joe stepped into the clearing, Jevin sidled up to X. "So, by chance does this work in both directions?"

"I suppose it could, although it would require more energy. If Biffa helped me, we could probably bring someone here, why?"

"Well, yknow, it would be really cool to meet our alternate versions or whatever..." Jevin hinted cheekily.

Xisuma laughed. "We might be able to arrange that sometime. You ready Joe?"

"As I'll ever be!"

"Bye then!" Xisuma waves as everyone shouted their farewells.

"There are never 'goodbye's, only very long 'see you later's." Joe said cryptically as he collapsed on the floor.

"Joe? Are you okay?" X called from a safe distance.

"Yeah... How did I get here? Last I recall me and Cleo were on a grassy knoll outside the shopping district?" Joe sat up, rubbing his head.

"It's a long story," X chuckled.

-and now, other Joe-

When his eyes opened again he found himself still in his chair, wet paper towels covering his desk.

"Joe? You ready to start?" Cleo's voice came through the singular earbud left in his ear.

”Yeah... I just experienced the strangest thing..."

"Wanna tell me in the episode or later in private? Because we really need to start the episode," Cleo laughed.

"I'll tell you later, I suppose."

**Author's Note:**

> Overdone plot? Maybe, but this was fun to write in one sitting!


End file.
